All About the Tagalongs - A Poem

I was sitting watching Wheel in my slippers and my robe;
With a bowl of Ramen noodles and a pint of Michelob.
With nary an intention of moving from the couch;
I had settled for the evening in a comfortable slouch.

The doorbell rang, I rolled my eyes, "Whoever could it be?"
I almost didn't answer but I thought that I should see.
I opened it a crack and I peered onto the stoop;
where a bunch of school-age girls were huddled in a group.

Strangly dressed in uniforms with badges on their shirts;
They made their pitch and sold me with the promise of desserts.
How could I resist all of their pleading and their pouts?
I ordered fourteen boxes from those scheming little Scouts.

"Your cookies should arrive in maybe five to seven weeks";
I could almost see the dollar signs in their rosy cheeks.
The day could not come soon enough. I fasted and I waited.
Finally the shipment came and, boy, was I elated.

I ripped apart the package, promptly counting all the spoils.
Lemonades and All Abouts, Samoas and Trefoils.
Of course I put the Thin Mints quickly in the freezer;
But left a few out for my wife; if only to appease her.

Chomping through the Do-si-dos, I moved to Tagalongs;
Better than Twinkies, Zebra Cakes - perhaps even Ding-Dongs!
I only stopped to take a breath, I knew I could not rest.
I didn't stop to think that I should slow down to digest.

But heartburn never killed anyone, or at least I like to think;
And it always goes away with a bit of milk to drink.
The only evidence remaining on that February Eve;
Were crumbs of cookie dust in an empty plastic sleeve.

Happy Girl Scout Cookie Day everybody!