Party Update

Day Two of the weeklong party has arrived (see yesterday's post) and, since you ignored the invitation, you may be wondering how it is progressing. Well, I have two words for you friend: a.) AWESOME! and; b.) AWESOME!
So what elevated the evening to the level of such palpable awesomeness?
Subway sandwiches, of course. And strippers.*
Every party is defined by the quality of its guests and so it is in this case as well. It was just me. Which is just the way I like it. Two's a crowd; an entire party full of people spilling Jägermeister on the berber is an anxiety attack waiting to happening. So I can cope with the crushing weight of my own existential loneliness. After all, I've been through this before; no one came to my 12th birthday party.**
So I partied by eating sandwiches. I did not order an entire party sub. That would be putting the cart before the horse. I wasn't sure if anyone would show up and I can't eat an entire party sub in one sitting***.
But I can eat a six-inch cold cut combo in one sitting. And that's exactly what I did. By myself.
Best. Party. Ever.
Just me, a bag of Snyder's of Hanover, and a submarine sandwich. Watching Prison Break on Tivo. Folding laundry.
Awesome.



* Not true.
** True.
*** I actually can, in fact, eat an entire party sub in one sitting.