How the Fry Guys Ruined the Economy - An Essay on Mconomics

Someone told me that there are over 400 strains of the cold virus. I think I've caught them all this past week.

I've successfully infected my wife and even my dogs are sniffling. This partially explains the lack of posts, but I also haven't had much to write about.

Until today.

Most of my recent trips to CVS for Ni-Quil and Kleenexes have been relatively uneventful (BTW , the new ones with Vick's Vapo in them are reason enough to go outside without a coat). But on today's trip, I noticed something so troubling and disturbing that I knew I must (MUST!) blog right away.

This whole issue might not mean much to most of you, but any of you who have kept up so far know that I am a fast food afficianado. I love it. It loves me. I know it's horrible and I'll die of clogged arteries at 29. But I don't care. I was born with a Beef 'n Cheddar in my hand. I don't care that I share a body type with this guy:

So Supersize these, Morgan Spurlock.

Anyhow, on with the story - I'm pulling out of the parking lot and I'm looking both ways, when I see a yard card advertisement at the McDonald's across the street. It read: 25 cent McNugget Wednesdays!

WHAT?!?!?! That's per nuggie? Like chicken wing night at Stu's B&G?

Like I said, I know this means nothing to most of you, but let me explain why this shook me to the very core.

Math lesson: a 5-piece McNugget is on the everyday Dollar menu. Therefore you get five (5) McNuggets for one U.S. dollar. One hundred pennies. My Two-Hundred Thousand dollar education tells me that this works out to 20 cents per nugget.

Still with me?

So their advertised sale of 25 cents is a 125% increase in the price of a nugget. That's not a sale. That's a burglery. And it's a good bet who's to blame:

I know that there's a good portion of this fair city who's driving down the street, with a hankerin' for the Arches, seeing that sign and smacking their fat foreheads saying "25 cent Nuggs? What a deal! They're practically givin' 'em away!"

Which leads me to the point of this digression.

Everyone can pretty much agree that the reason for this economic downturn we're in is the real estate crisis. You have a good portion of many a fair city driving down the street, with a hankerin' for the American Dream, seeing the ReMax sign in your yard and smacking their fat foreheads saying "More square footage for less money? What a deal! They're practically givin' 'em away."

The same people who think that paying an extra five cents for a delicious premium all-white-meat chicken tender is a solid bargain are the same folks who are buying into these zero-percent-down mortgages thinking that their starter home should be a 3,500 sq. ft. two-story with a three-car garage. The consequences of being upside-down in their mortgage are masked by shiny-white vinyl siding that'll shear off in the next Midwestern storm.

I'm no elitist, or math expert, but I do know how to compare my current income to 360 monthly payments plus taxes, mortgage insurance, and unforeseen repairs while keeping a reasonable budget in mind. But then again, my house isn't in foreclosure.

But my fellow GenXers - my peers with their wallet-busting student loan payments, 60-month mini-van finance agreements, and 2.1 kids - are throwing away their financial future (and good credit, and marriages, and self-respect) for an impatient, live-in-the-moment, he-who-dies-with-the-most-toys-wins lifestyle.

So enjoy your gigantic tract home with its barely-there lot, shoddy materials and virtually zero resale value.

There's a reason they call them McMansions.