Many of you will remember earlier this year when I wrote about an opposing employee relations litigant that I referred to as the sandwich lady. I pulled the post because it may have identified her and that's not cool, but Sandwich will be forever remembered in the hearts and minds of those who read it.
Ed. note: See link for edited re-post tortfeezor.blogspot.com/2008/02/sandwiched.html
Anyhow, I've put together an opening argument because the trial is this week. Here are some delicious excerpts:
"This employee was demoted because she chose to loaf at her workstation and refused to do her assigned tasks."
"Instead, she chose to ham it up with co-workers and peppered her conversation with salty language."
"You’ll hear plenty of arguments from the petitioner – some will be made with great zeal and relish - but it’s all a bunch of bologna - those kinds of excuses just don't cut the mustard."
"It looks like Ms. ___________ has gotten herself into a pickle."
"We all have a steak in this, so I won’t make any cheesy arguments or try to bake new bread."
"I know this is a lot to chew on. I'll go slowly so you all can all ketchup."
"In conclusion, it's time to wrap this up. So lettuce begin."
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
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2 comments:
I forgot to tell you that every time you flipped thru the sandwich binder today, I had to suppress a giggle when a different color paper came up. I came to the conclusion it must have been a veggie sandwich - or some sort of weird, green lunchmeat that had been in the fridge way too long.
The light green was lettuce, the dark green was a pickle, the purple was an onion (the kind of onion with weird purple skin, naturally), the beige was turkey and the orange was special sauce. All sandwiches have special sauce. Keep up.
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