A Word About Search Engines

When they hear that I have a blog, people generally ask me for a description of what I write about. I don't have a good answer for them. I usually mumble something about 'overly earnest, cringe-worthy descriptions of my increasingly awkward life - sometimes in poetic narrative form' and hope that they either change the subject or walk away. But apparently, I have a much wider readership than I initially thought.
My mom emailed me this morning asking for the web link to this blog. Apparently she got a new computer and lost the link. I thought about telling her to just type it into a search engine. But I understand that the name Tortfeezor is unduly cumbersome and difficult to remember and spell, so I checked my Google Analytics printout to see some of the searches that pull up this blog.
After seeing some of these, I am simultaneously confused, bemused, amused and just a little bit...scared. I don't know what most of these even mean, let alone why anyone would want to Google them. But if you've reached this site to find information on hairless albino boxers, then welcome. However, I don't remember ever writing about them (or any of these for that matter).
In no particular order:

- scabies spread in sinks and showers, bathroom floors
- rules for dating my dog
- profitable things to steal
- most profitable things to steal
- moonshine 101
- pee puddle ballet
- odor street person
- flamboyant fanny packs
- common law larceny donut pie
- albino boxers hair falling off from yard treatments
- 10 pieces chicken nuggie macdonald

and my personal favorite:

- topless yugioh cards

It's like Wikipedia for weirdos. Not really my target market, but whatever.